Everyone would want to have better orgasms, right? That’s why in this blog, we’ll be discussing ways to have better orgasms for people with vaginas and people with penises. However, it’s also important to know that your pelvic floor actually plays a role in sexual activity. After all, the muscles of your pelvic floor allow for proper function during sexual activities. So, let’s further discuss how the pelvic floor muscles can affect people in relation to their reproductive regions and orgasmic experience.
Why Your Pelvic Floor Matters During Sex
For people with vaginas, having a well-coordinated pelvic floor can assist in pain-free penetration, optimize blood flow, and increase vaginal lubrication. Unfortunately, many people with vaginas experience pain with penetration, bladder leakage during intercourse or orgasm, and sometimes low confidence in the bedroom from these issues. However, if you are a person with a vagina, you don’t have to live with this forever. By working with a pelvic floor physical therapist, you can change how you and your body feel during sexual intercourse; and yes, even have better orgasms.
For some people, considering vaginal dilators may be an option. If you experience extreme discomfort with penetration, you may benefit from vaginal dilators. These are tools that help reduce pain and discomfort with penetration by allowing your body to become more comfortable with penetration and allow your vagina to stay elastic. If this sounds like a tool you could benefit from, it’s a good idea to consult your pelvic floor physical therapist on usage and if it is right for you.
(As for the product itself, I’d recommend Intimate Rose Vaginal Dilators, and you can use code Laura6 for 5$ off.)
As for people with penises, the pelvic floor muscles allow for proper blood flow to the penis during an erection, as well as act as a pump during ejaculation. If your pelvic floor muscles are not properly coordinated, you may experience painful erections and other erectile dysfunction symptoms.
If you feel you may need to show more care for your pelvic floor muscles, consult a pelvic floor physical therapist to learn what course of treatment may be best for you.
However, in some cases, you may just need to try something different in order to have better orgasms…
Ways To Have Better Orgasms for People With Vaginas
For people with vaginas, there are a lot of different types of orgasms. Clitoral orgasms, vaginal orgasms, anal orgasms, nipple orgasms, cervical orgasms, G-spot orgasms, and even blended orgasms. So basically, there are a lot of different opportunities. Everyone is different, so it’s a good idea to experiment with the different options and see what feels best for you.
So, now that you know how the pelvic floor comes into play, and that there are multiple types of orgasms, here’s a couple of ways to have better orgasms if you have a vagina:
- Slow down! If you are trying to achieve an orgasm with penetration, don’t jump right into it. Gradually getting into action can help with buildup and anticipation.
- Give the clitoris more attention! This can be achieved by trying different positions with your partner(s), or by involving your hands more in the act.
- Be aware of your menstrual cycle. Libido usually peaks during ovulation, so try experimenting with the time of the month to increase pleasure.
- Take a break. Sometimes giving yourself some time (maybe a few days) before achieving another orgasm can help with the intensity.
- Use more lube. Yes, seriously! Having the right type of lube and the right amount will make all the difference and help have better orgasms. Some of my favorite recommendations include:
Water-based: Satin Sliquid Naturals Lube (use code Laura10 for 10% off)
Oil-based: Coconu Coconut Based Lube
Silicone-based: Silver Sliquid Naturals (use code Laura10 for 10% off)
Hybrid: Silk Sliquid Naturals (use code Laura10 for 10$ off)
Ways To Have Better Orgasms For People With Penises
- Edging. You may have heard of this, but for some people, delaying the orgasm will make the end result even better.
- Use the perineum! You can externally stimulate it by applying pressure to the space between the anus and the bulb of the penis. Or, you can stimulate it internally using a finger or sexual aid, with the assistance of lube.
- Try the nipples. Yes, people with penises can also be stimulated through the nipples! This can be done yourself or by your partner(s).
- Strengthen your pelvic floor. Having more control over your pelvic floor muscles actually allows for greater control and intensity during sexual activities.
- Try for multiple orgasms. For people with penises, this is a bit trickier. After ejaculation comes a refractory period (rest period) where sexual stimulation doesn’t affect the brain as much. However, it is possible for orgasms to occur without ejaculation. These orgasms that don’t involve ejaculation will feel different from normal orgasms, but some prefer to have multiple rather than one big orgasm. How is this done? Well, by working on your pelvic floor muscles(mentioned previously) you can learn to hold off the ejaculation.
So, we’ve gone over some tips on how to have better orgasms for both people with vaginas and people with penises. We also went over the reasons why your pelvic floor muscles matter when it comes to sexual activities. If you’re looking for more pleasure or more control during sex, it’s a good idea to consider working on your pelvic floor muscles. The best way to do this is to work with a pelvic floor physical therapist. Doing at-home exercises may seem like an easy route, but the pelvic floor muscles are complex and you could end up focusing on the wrong type of exercise for your needs.
If working with a doctor to improve sex sounds a bit embarrassing, that’s okay! There are doctors who specialize in and understand all the benefits of working with your pelvic floor muscles.
Laura Meihofer, a pelvic floor physical therapist, strives to always make sure her clients feel welcome and comfortable in her space and while working with her. All gender identities and pelvic floor goals are welcome in her no-shame zone.
Want to consult with Dr. Laura Meihofer and get started on your pelvic floor health journey?
P.S. If you have any questions about pelvic floor health or anything pelvic floor-related, head over to Instagram, and let’s connect in the DMs!
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