Struggling with sexual satisfaction is often a scary and frustrating experience. Many people feel alone in their experience, or that they are the only person or couple who can’t work it out. You absolutely are NOT alone! I see this daily, in my practice and with my own friends, and difficulty with sex happens for a variety of reasons.
Why we struggle with sexual satisfaction
You may struggle with sexual pleasure after pregnancy or after menopause, or even surgical menopause can cause some of the same issues. Hysterectomy recovery and genital reconstruction surgery can cause pelvic pain during sex. Intimacy issues can happen in a relationship when one partner develops a fear of intimacy, stemming from any of these things: surgery recovery or body changes, sometimes intimacy issues occur after trauma, or other causes.
No matter your age, you can have sexual appreciation struggles. Despite what I refer to as the blasted “puzzle piece” idea, not all of our bodies magically fit together like that! Our sexual organs come in varying widths and lengths, some curve, each one is a unicorn! Body changes over time also make way for us to rediscover our own bodies all over again, which is exciting yet overwhelming. Remember to be kind to yourself.
How to boost sexual satisfaction
Let me lovingly remind you that sex is an exploration of the body, and not all about penetration or achieving orgasm. There is no finish line here or goal posture, just increased sexual pleasure and confidence! There are many reasons you might be seeking intimacy aids, or having intimacy concerns, what matters is that there are several options out there to suit you. Many times we don’t fit together like “two perfect puzzle pieces”, but that’s a myth anyway!!
Give yourself permission to explore what feels good to YOU and enjoy the ride. These are a collection of sexual aid products that I have tried and my patients’ love, and I have listed the best recommendations below. I hope that something fits your needs!
Aids to help boost sexual satisfaction
Support Pillows & Wedges:
Pillo – by Dame Products (use code “ LAURA5 ” for 5% off)
What I love about it:
Many individuals and their partners find that certain sexual positions cause discomfort in their back, hips, knees, or other areas. This can make it challenging to relax in those positions and fully reach sexual satisfaction, or you might just avoid them entirely. How disappointing! Bottom Line: the pillows you use for sleeping just don’t cut it when it comes to extracurricular bedroom activities. This is the perfect reason to have a Pillo!
Developed by Dame Products, this is a soft, yet firm body wedge that can help support you in a variety of positions to boost sexual satisfaction. It has a removable cover that is machine washable, and impressively it’s even discreet enough to stay out on your bed all the time. Use it as a prop to read your book at night, a tool in your pelvic floor yoga therapy toolbox, or simply take a cat nap on this compact, comfy beauty. Take the risk, explore what new angles you can reach, and stop avoiding those fantasy positions to boost your sexual satisfaction! Lather, rinse, and repeat as many, many, MANY times as needed!
What I love about it:
The Liberator Wedge/Ramp Combo is a position aid to help with improved body positioning and increased support during sexual play to increase sexual satisfaction, similar to the Pillo. However, the Liberator Combo differs in that it is two products in one, each piece can be used individually or together to help you and your partner find the right spot and reach sexual satisfaction. There is a larger “ramp” and a smaller “wedge”— and the wedge can be slid along the ramp to find the best support for each body.
This means you don’t have to worry about putting pressure on your back, knees, or wrists. The Liberator is made of memory foam to prevent you from sinking into the support and has a machine-washable removable cover and moisture-resistant liner. It is fantastic for those yoga modifications for your pelvic floor tightness, and I also highly recommend this as an intimacy aid for transgender people to help throughout all stages of transition to improve sexual satisfaction. The microfiber cover is designed to cling firmly and keep the two pieces from slipping during mindful exercise or playtime! To top it off, this combo comes in three different sizes so that you can find the exact fit for you and your partner. Two perfect puzzle pieces after all!
Personal Moisturizer & Lubricants:
Satin – by Sliquid Naturals (use code “ LAURA10 ” for 10% off)
What I love about it:
Sliquid Satin is a natural moisture and aloe-based lubricant and daily moisturizer. This is a water-based lubricant so it is safe for use with most toys, and is easy to clean up— no sticky residue or stains on the sheets! This is my favorite lubricant for two reasons: 1. It has a dreamy liquid-like texture that feels so natural. 2. Sliquid Satin is also dual purpose, serving as a lubricant and moisturizer as well. This is a perfect sexual aid for those in menopause or as an intimacy aid for those who have undergone genital reconstruction surgery.
The bottle even says moisturizer on it, so it’s a wonderful product for those who prefer to keep it private. You can apply it ahead of time if you aren’t comfortable bringing it into your sexual play. Satin is a vegan dream and can help with chronic dryness or even just increased sexual satisfaction. This is my favorite cost-effective option, the price isn’t any more than a normal bottle of moisturizer.
Toys and Tools
Ohnut – by Ohnut (use code “ LAURA15 ” for $9.75 off + 1 extra ring)
What I love about it:
The Ohnut was developed with intimacy issues in mind! Why is that exciting? Well try one of these babies out, and you’ll see why! Ohnut is so soft. It’s made of a specially designed, FDA-approved material that feels like skin! This skin-like feel allows you to shift your focus from pain to sexual satisfaction. This product comes with 4 rings that are flexible and able to interlock, which allows you to choose your own depth of comfort. Only use 1, or go crazy and use all 4! The rings gently compress against the base, and act as a soft bumper on both ends of the ring stack. This makes it a perfect product for those who experience pain or discomfort during penetration and are working to gradually increase their depth of penetration. It doesn’t matter whether you place them on your shaft, your partner’s shaft, your favorite toy, or your dilator— you donut know how much you’ll love this Ohnut to help improve your sexual satisfaction!
Blowhole — by PicoBong (use code LAURA15 for 15% off )
What I love about it:
The Blowhole from Lelo’s PicoBong is a masturbation cup made of smooth, body-safe silicone. I LOVE this product for transition, working up to feeling comfortable with physical intimacy is an important part of many relationships, as well as recovery in general!
Whether you are going through genital reconstruction surgery recovery, treating your pelvic floor dysfunction, or even working through sensitivity and depth therapy, the PicoBong Blowhole is a great little toy to have in your repertoire. Some couples even find that they enjoy coupled masturbation during foreplay.
The Blowhole comes with 6 vibration settings to help you reach sexual satisfaction, plus it’s rechargeable and waterproof so you can bring it anywhere for your play! Much like PicoBong’s other products, it is remotely controllable with the Remoji App through your Android or iPhone device and comes with a 1-year warranty. Begin your sexual journey again, test your limits, sense where you’re comfortable sexually, and work towards expanding your orgasmic capacity with this little gadget!
TIANI 3 – by Lelo (use code LAURA15 for 15% off)
What I love about it:
The Tiani 3 from Lelo is a partner intimacy aid dream— with a dual vibrator that provides both internal and external stimulation. Tiani 3 can be worn during internal vaginal sex, as well as for dual external stimulation. (I would not recommend this for internal anal applications, however.) The curved, flexible shape is designed to reach the g-spot and comes with a remote for hands-free stimulation (up to 38 ft range!).
Get ready to make that “Oh!” because the Tiani 3 can last for a whopping 2 hours of play! It is made from body-safe silicone and whisper-quiet, with 8 vibration settings you’ll definitely be able to find a setting for both partners to experience the vibrations. This is great for promoting a seamless connection. This little baby is also waterproof so you can take it into the shower for a more adventurous experience to increase sexual satisfaction.
I recommend this in conjunction with lubricant for those undergoing the dilation process or other treatment for pelvic floor dysfunction, and as part of any treatment plan working towards increased sexual satisfaction with your partner.
TOR 2 — by Lelo (use code LAURA15 for 15% off)
What I love about it:
The Tor 2 from Lelo is a multi-positional pleasure ring that can be worn up or down, whichever is more comfortable for your uses. It is waterproof and rechargeable, with 6 pleasure settings to find the right setting for your and your partner’s desired usage.
I love this aid because it doesn’t get much more versatile than this! What a shared experience to help ease into concerns you may have regarding pain with intercourse. It also comes with a full coverage 1-year warranty! If you’re looking for a small and discrete introduction intimacy aid, this is a great starting place that provides a powerful boost to your sexual satisfaction in one tiny package.
LifeGuard — by PicoBong (use code LAURA15 for 15% off)
What I love about it:
The Lifeguard from Lelo’s PicoBong is a pleasure ring similar to the Tor 2 from Lelo, however, it is a slightly more cost-effective option. Made of stretchy silicone, it is also waterproof so you can take this little baby on many adventures, even in the shower, and is definitely safe for use with a water-based lubricant. The 6 vibration modes are all near-silent, and it comes with a remote control option through the Remoji app.
Like the Tor 2 it is multi-positional, but the shape is slightly different so some partners may find this intimacy aid a more comfortable option than the Tor 2, either physically or for their budget’s bottom line. The PicoBong Lifeguard also has a wonderful bottom line with a 1-year warranty and a whopping 10-year guarantee, you are protected from item defectiveness!
Working with a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist for Sexual Health
Dr. Laura Meihofer specializes in all things pelvic floor. She has gained experience with a variety of cases through years of patient care, as well as during her education and research while earning her doctorate at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. She offers inclusive patient care, treating all gender identities and conditions relating to the pelvic floor; and works to create a safe space to discuss and learn about common pelvic floor conditions. She ensures a professional but accessible experience for all her patients; challenging the status quo to diminish shame and instead create courage and vulnerability in topics that are typically considered taboo.
Dr. Laura is passionate about creating accessible resources, education, and products for individuals suffering from pelvic floor conditions, in order to help them work towards a better quality of life. If you feel that would benefit from pelvic floor physical therapy or think you are experiencing symptoms that may require diagnosis, you can book a FREE 20-minute consultation HERE.
Or, if you’d like to learn more about all things pelvic floor health, head over to Instagram! You can always reach out in the DM’s if you have any questions!
More content you may like:
_________________________________
DISCLOSURE: Hi there! – I truly hope you love any product I recommend, I always try them out personally or with my patients. At times, I use affiliate links. You do not pay more, a small percentage of the sale goes to the person who has influenced your purchase. This helps me to continue offering free content. Let me know your experience! All pricing is up to date at the time of posting.
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.